I know, I know, said I was givin’ up the pornographies. But then I was asked to come up with a best of 2007 list for the blogs, and the only thing topical I pay any attention to is pornographies and lunchables. And lunchables are all the same, regardless of expiration dates. And I just sound so eloquent when writing about the pornographies.
3. grubbietits2.wmv -At first glance some would think the set up is amateur—a man metering light, the director giving out disciplined, yet subtle directions, and the dude with a still camera flashing pictures, and all of it on camera. They’d be wrong, though, for sure. This ain’t a sign of unruly filming by a couple of cherried-blood-pink filmmakers on the outskirts of San Bernardino, but a symptom of meta-fiction(porn), a convention used in most other arts since Flann O’Brien started spittin’ his shit. Besides pornographies, until now. In short, the director of grubbietits2.wmv is the Charlie Kaufmann of the pornographies scene.
2. girls.blondes.lesbys.hotaction.wmv-The gent in this file looks like he was an extra on 90210 and had more than a few rejection slips from The Highlander, both film and series. His stubbled chin (reaking of aftershave, I’m sure), and pony tail blur from motion and slight buffering as he starts out fucking hard, skips to foreplay, and then. BLAM, we backs at a BJ, and then, godbless his Tarentino incensed heart, back to hardcore fucking. Makes me wish Memento had more girls/blondes/lesbys/hotaction, and wave file action.
1. Potato Hidin 4: Baked, Sans Sour Cream- Compartimalized, short, and wholly unhealthy, this pornographie reminds why I fell in love with lunchables in the first place.
My three least favorite porns of 2007 coming soon.
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