Plural but Possessive

Listen, I hate children just as much as every intellectual my age should. They smell, they complain, they rant, and then they cry about something stupid like what you wont buy them, plus who really wants to be born into this world at a time like this? I mean seriously, there is hardly any good art or music being made now, it is hard to imagine that there will be anything even decent by the time they are able to fully appreciate it.

I am particularly down on children this week because I now have a running nose due to my obligatory trip to the suburbs to visit my sisters and their children. That's right, my sisters' children, meaning more that one sister and more than one child for those of you who are too dull to understand and love plural possessives as much as I do. So, upon arriving to my sister's house (note: my sisters do not live together, thus my visit was to just one home of my sisters' homes. Yes, this is a lesson on the magic of plural possessives and how much fun they are.)

Back to this B.S. with my running nose and children, So I show up around 4:30 p.m. I was supposed to be there at 1:00, but I didn't want to eat early dinner with them because I can't stand to watch children eat, grabbing at everything with their grubby little fingers and pouring juice all over the place, on top of that I do not eat the processed garbage from some commercial Wal-Mart affiliated neighborhood grocery store they shop at and proudly display their savings card on their S.U.V.'s key chain. Please, so what you saved 30 cents? I am saving the environment by eating only organic fair trade products.

So, I showed up, sat on a couch or something, got blank stares, got in trouble for offering my three-year-old nephew coffee, and had to answer like a dozen stupid questions about my recent two month long trip to Berlin. "No, I did not go to the Berlin wall," was the first stupid I got. "I spent most of my time in basement dance clubs drinking absinthe with a performance artist and teenage sex workers." That is cutting edge, that is why I went to Berlin, not because it has some old wall.

By Vicki Blah